True Story Tuesday

Courtesy of Rachel and Mr. Daddy at Once Upon a Miracle

 

Sunday was the 4th of July.  My most favorite holiday in large part to the fact that nothing is required of me other than packing snacks, drinks, and outdoor toys for an evening spent in the park.  We went to our usual spot on the golf course 3.5 hours before fireworks were scheduled to erupt and played wiffle ball ( I can totally bat with only one arm),

hung out with friends,

and consumed large amounts of sugar.

  

Good times, good times.

This year we have had an unusual amount of rain.  Flooding has already occurred once, but heavy showers have also made their way across our weather radar.  Rain is nice (when it doesn’t bring flooding with it) and we have enjoyed a relatively mild summer.  And by mild I mean the high temperatures are generally around 95 degrees. 

However, rain also creates another problem.  An itchy problem as a matter of fact. 

Me:  “Hey, you know what really sucks?” Said oh so calmly as if we were sitting in a field of daisies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris: “What?” He’s truly interested in the enlightened information I am about to bestow upon him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: “When you’re wearing a cast and it feels like a fire ant is biting you in between your fingers.” Spoken as if the wind is blowing in my hair in that field of daises.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris: “ Yeah, that would suck.”  In total calm agreement with me.

And I ask you dear readers: Do you know what sucks even more than feeling like a fire ant is in your cast?

Answer:  Feeling like there is a fire ant in your cast a full day after you originally felt the little bugger to begin with.

True Story Tuesday

Food cravings.  I have them…a lot.  But never quite so much as when I was pregnant.  My cravings while pregnant with Jakob consisted of corndogs with mustard and Dairy Queen Blizzards.

   

I went a little healthier with Nolan although I gained the exact same amount of weight with both pregnancies.  Just goes to show you, when choosing between a Blizzard or fruit salad go for the Blizzard.  Always.  My cravings with Nolan consisted of salad and pineapple.  Seriously?  Salad?  Who craves salad?  What do you want for dinner?  Ooooo, I think I’d love a good salad!  Ummm, yeah.  No.  I don’t think so.  But I did indeed crave salad.  And pineapple.

I loved me some pineapple.  Pineapple in the morning, pineapple for lunch, pineapple for a bedtime snack.  All the time pineapple.  It was sooooo good.  I’d eat it straight from the can.  No need to dirty a dish when all that was needed was a can opener and a fork.  Mr. Dole and I had a good thing going. 

That is until I learned what the acidity in pineapple can do to a person.  And since then Mr. Dole and I have not been on such great terms.  Did you know you could burn your esophagus?  Yeah, me either.  But you can.  And boy howdy does it hurt.  It feels like you have a large stick in your throat and as you swallow it moves up and down. 

I said my goodbyes to my dear friend Mr. Dole and became acquainted with Mr. Maalox.  I should have bought stock in the makers of Maalox.  It’s all I consumed for days. Bottles upon bottles of liquid Maalox passed my lips until the slow burn of my esophagus calmed down. 

    

Turns out backing the Dole truck up to your front door isn’t such a good idea after all.

This Public Service Announcement #2 has been brought to you by Foursons.  (To view PSA #1 click here.)

  

 

I am linking up with Rachel and Mr. Daddy for True Story Tuesdays.

True Story Tuesday

The youngest child never seems to stay little for very long. Older siblings can suck babyhood right out of them and before you know it the baby of the family is wise beyond their years.

“MMMMOOOOOM! Nolan just stuck the middle finger up at me!” Jakob hollered as he was running inside.

“Well, tell him to come in here.” I reply.

Nolan comes through the doorway dragging his feet with his head hanging down.

“Nolan, did you stick the middle finger up at Jakob?” I ask.

Mumbling Nolan replies, “Yes.”

“Well, you’re not supposed to do that. It’s not nice.” I so very calmly inform him. (Score 2pts towards that Mom of the Year award.)

“Well, I stuck it up at Rocco too!” Nolan tattles on himself.

“Well, why are you doing that? It’s not nice Nolan.” I respond. (Another 2pts go to me.)

And ever so eloquently Nolan says, “Why? Rocco doesn’t know what it means!” (2 pts. to Nolan.)

I am linking up today with Rachel and Mr. Daddy at Once Upon a Miracle.

True Story Tuesday

Physical therapy is a godsend. I have had a few opportunities in which a doctor wrote a prescription for me to see these miracle workers. My second and third go-rounds with PT came with a little knowledge. Knowledge that was hard-earned mind you, but knowledge nonetheless.

For example,

Just because you are going to PT for a broken foot don’t think for a minute that they won’t assess your entire body. And by assessing your entire body I mean:

1. Don’t just shave 1/2 of one leg completely ignoring the rest. Yes, the therapist will check out the bottom 1/2 of your leg with the bad foot, but he will also check out your other leg too and embarrassment will ensue when he is witness to the hairy beast underneath the other pant leg.

( FYI- Do not Google Images hairy legs. )

2. When grooming your foot needing the therapy go ahead and take the time to groom both feet. He will want you to remove both your shoes upon the initial visit and every visit thereafter.

3. Do dress as though you are going on a date and wear your best underclothing. For some odd reason the therapist will have you bend at the waist with your rear in his face and when the grannies make their appearance you will be embarrassed…once again.

And last, but certainly not least:

4. Do not put baby powder in your socks in hopes that it would keep your feet dry and smelling fresh. The therapist will sneeze uncontrollably while working on your foot and you will be stifling the giggles despite the awkwardness of it all.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Foursons. You’re welcome.

For more PSA’s or maybe none at all, check out Rachel and Mr. Daddy’s True Story Tuesdays.

True Story Tuesday

Last week I mentioned that Nolan graduated from Preschool.

A lot of commenter's were impressed with Nolan’s awards. He received certificates for being able to count to 100, count by 5’s & 10’s, add and subtract, and for being a beginning reader. I admit, it does sound good.

Melissa of 5 Sweet Peas said, “ What a smarty-pants he is, counting by 5's and 10's!”

Stacey of McCrakensx4 said, “ Love that he is reading and writing...in AZ he would be ready for first grade!”

Alyssa from Bloggin 2 Noggin said, “ All that he learned in preschool amazes me.”

And…

Heather of Oswald Cuties said, “ Wow! He learned all of that in PRESCHOOL? He IS smart! And that must be an amazing preschool!”

Yes Heather, the preschool is amazing. So amazing in fact that I did not guffaw an obnoxious noise before I exited the building and announce to my husband that I have my next blog post. OK, maybe I did just that. But so would every.single.one.of. you. lovely bloggers.

Yup, this is one certificate worth framing to preserve for all of eternity.

I’m linking up with Rachel and Mr. Daddy at Once Upon A Miracle for True Story Tuesdays.

True Story Tuesday- Oh No He Dinnt!

1 game to go in Jakob’s season. If you missed any of the previous drama you can get updated here and here and here too. Just to catch you up to speed, Jakob has chosen to play every single game this season. There have been moments when he wasn’t sure, but playing has always won out in the end. The boy loves the game.

Last Friday Josh came home from college and Jakob was very excited to get to play while big brother/hero was there to watch. He struck out his first at bat and walked his 2nd at bat when he got hit by the ball. I only embarrassed him a little bit by cheering for him because he got on base.

Picture it. Last inning. 2 outs. Jakob’s team is up by… a lot. 9 runs or something like that. Jakob is brought in as the closer. He hasn’t pitched the whole season. He hasn’t gotten out of right field much at all. Coach knows big brother is there and gives Jakob a chance to get the last out. He throws 16 pitches. 1 strike, 15 balls. It doesn’t matter, he is having a blast. (The following pictures are a shameless plug for a Nikon or Canon DSLR.)

Jakob isn’t catching the ball much when the catcher is throwing it back to him. It bounces out of his glove. It goes by him completely. His back-up (short stop and 2nd baseman) do a good job of getting the ball back to him. It’s funny and not-so-funny to watch. We have all been at the game for 2 hours now. The first hour of the game was blazin’ hot. 95 degrees and humid as all get out. We just need one more out.

And then it happens. A classless imbecile makes Mama Bear come out standing on her hind legs, claws sharpened and glistening, and foaming at the mouth. Yes, I’m Mama Bear and I’m protecting my 8 year old cub who has just been ridiculed by the smallest fraction of a man.

Jakob missed the ball thrown to him again.

“Roll it to him!” Repeat X3

Apparently my telepathy wasn’t enough to shut this sorry excuse for a man up. Because don’t you know I was reading him the riot act in my head from across the field. Nope, apparently he wasn’t getting my non-verbal cues because if he had he wouldn’t have chosen to walk right in front of me and repeat himself.

“Excuse me, that’s MY son you’re making fun of.”

“I’m not making fun of your son.”

“Yes, you are. That is MY son you’re making fun of.”

This is when Jakob’s coach jumps in (who is friends with this oaf) and says, “No, he’s not making fun of Jakob he’s making fun of me.”

Simpleton mimics the coach and says, “Yeah, I’m making fun of him.”

About ready to go to blows, I say “At the expense of MY son!”

He apologized. More than once. Good thing too.

To read much funnier but probably not as confrontational true stories be sure to hop on over to Rachel and Mr. Daddy’s house.

True Story Tuesday

Join me today. Let’s go for a walk. It’ll be fun, I promise. OK, if it’s not fun it will at least be new blog fodder. So join me, shall you?

I have a dog.

My dog’s name is Rocco.

My dog loves to take me for walks. He’ll enjoying walking you too. I hope you wore your shoes with extra traction.

He likes to make me walk fast. Very fast. I have to try very hard to maintain my footing. You like power-walking, right? Right?!

My dog also likes to turn into psycho, make me roller skate without skates, dog when he sees another four-legged creature in his line of vision. How do you feel about roller skating? It’s fun isn’t it!

2 Remaining Brain Cell Lady (whom I will refer to as 2RBCL) is walking her Rat dog while we are walking the Roc. No, don’t wave. You will be acquainted shortly.

(Not an actual photo of Rat dog, but wouldn’t you know it- 2RBCL decided to walk her rat dog again today while I was taking photos for this post. Thank you and you’re welcome.)

Come on, we need to walk on the opposite side of the street from 2RBCL with Rat dog because that’s what a responsible pet owner does. Remember when I said that Rocco can become a little psycho? Yeah. Don’t forget that.

Rat dog kept turning around to check out the Roc.

2RBCL kicked Rat dog for turning his head around and set him flying off the curb with her foot. Dog owner FAIL.

We roll our eyes and say *tsk tsk*

(FYI- Google Images “Rolling Eyes” brings up things I wasn’t expecting to see.)

2RBCL beat us to the corner on her side of the street and decided to cross the street and return from where she came on our side of the road. What was that I just said about responsible pet owners? And what was it you were supposed to remember about Rocco? Oh yeah, he likes when other dogs come near him. Especially small ones.

I looked at 2RBCL and said to myself, “Self, she is a bonafide fool.” You, you are speechless. But it’s OK. This is your first rodeo walking the Roc and next time you will be able to speak to yourself too.

I wrap Roc’s leash all the way around my hand and brace myself so that Roc would have to fight every ounce of my weight when he dives for Rat dog. You can brace yourself too just because. You might want to hold onto me. We may need the extra weight to hold him back.

2RBCL just keeps walking towards us while we stand, feet planted firmly, waiting for the Roc to attack. You are about to witness something closely resembling Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Are you ready? It’s a sight to behold.

2RBCL ignored the truck on the street that had slowed down to a crawl to watch the action play out. Isn’t being the amusement for others fun?

2RBCL came within arm’s distance of the drooling, panting, heaving, Rocco and said, “ My dog would be his…” Did you hear the rest of her sentence? I had a hard time deciphering her words. What with all the growling and barking and what not.

Don’t worry, I’ve got a good hold of Rocco’s leash. I no longer have any circulation going into my hand, but Rat dog is safe… for now.

We manage to continue on our way and head home. Are you OK? You’re kind of breathing hard. Don’t worry, you’ll build up your endurance the more you join us.

Well, was our walk fun? Did you enjoy yourself? Want to come back and play again tomorrow?

I am linking up today with Rachel and Mr. Daddy at Once Upon a Miracle.