Letters of Intent

Battle of the Blogs Results:
(I'm counting mine and Rachel's "test" votes 'cause I totally need every vote I got.)
Feed Me to the Crocs: 8
Feed Me to the Tigers: 34 (ouch!)

My Top Comment pick:

Shaun- I'm picking tigers. I'm thinking outside the box here..see, you said MAN eating tigers, not woman-eating tigers. We all know there's fundamental differences between men and women (we're better), so I'm assuming that tigers that like men won't like women. Too sweet, I'd imagine. But, if they are indeed woman-eating tigers, I'm picking the crocs. I'm envisioning myself walking on their heads like in that bad video came..I think it was called Pit Fall. (I could be totally wrong about the video game thing though..that person may have actually gotten eaten by the crocs.) Anyway..I'd totally take the crocs, you know..if the tigers actually eat women.


Has life thrown you a few punches this week? Have you been holding your breath for so long that you have lost lung capacity? Did the other shoe not just drop but come down upon you with hurricane force? Did you lose horribly in a debate? Oh wait, that was just me. Did you figure out how to bottle up the secret to eternal youth and you are about to become the richest person on the planet? If so, can you share some of your wealth with me? No need to write a letter telling me you are about to make me a wealthy woman- just send the money. But do write a letter telling the who, what, when, where, and why about how your week has been the best or worst week ever. Grab my button from my left sidebar and link up at the bottom. I look forward to your Letters of Intent!


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Dear My Most Beloved Followers,

When I eagerly entered into Battle of the Blogs upon Rachel's request, I seemingly forgot about my insatiable need to win. For this reason I hate competition. It never occurred to me that I may not win a debate against Rachel. Not that Rachel is not smart, funny, or persuasive. Quite the contrary- she is all of that and more. However, I always win. I m.u.s.t. win.

However, I failed to take into account that so many of you have an insane fear of water. I never imagined that all the votes would sway to Rachel because of an inability to swim (quite literally) to save your life.

I also did not consider that most of you would rather die a slow, painful excruciatingly painful death. You prefer to be aware of every last nerve ending in your body while you gasp your last labored breath. And trust me, if you are alone on an island with a man-eating tiger, there will be no hiding. You can not climb high enough nor dig deep enough to escape the attack that will come. Did you take notice of Rachel's picture? Siegfried and Roy are wearing sunglasses for a reason.

That would be because Roy's face is mutilated by a non man-eating tiger that has been trained since birth by the very man that he attacked. There is no one who can run far enough or fast enough to escape.

Rudy Rukus, Ashley, and Dan understand that a quick, relatively painless death (death by drowning would be much less painful then teeth and claws tearing into flesh) is preferred over the torture you have all subjected yourselves to.

But it's OK. I have no control over the choices you make in life. If you want to be torn apart piece by painful piece that is your choice.

Sadly,

The *cough*cough*loser*cough*clutching stomach in pain* of Round 1 in the Battle of the Blogs.

The perfect way to make me feel better for all of your votes against me would be to link up your letter below!