First off- for all of you who are recommending that I send my letter off to the school board and/or TEA...I am most likely going to be doing just that. That is why my letter is soooo dry and BORING. I refrained from my usual sarcastic, witty, hilarious self (ahem- quit rolling your eyes) because I am seriously concerned about the whole issue.
Secondly- I have a confession. You know how I always call out people for UNFOLLOWING me? How I'm soooo needy and want to be popular and loved by everyone? Yeah, well the other day I decided to do a little house cleaning on my dashboard. Shocked? Yeah, I know...I'm such a hypocrite. But honestly I only UNFOLLOWED the people who haven't posted in f.o.r.e.v.e.r. You know the ones I'm talking about. When it's been months since you've written a post I want to make room for people who do post. So I cleaned up. Well guess what?! I lost 2 followers already- one yesterday and one today. I guess I deserve that, huh. It still makes me sad though. *crying buckets of tears.* (By the way- I did the same thing on FB. I cut out all the people who added me from HS who just wanted to see what I look like now compared to what I looked like then.)
Question for all of you lovely followers who stick around: If you've gotten in an argument with someone and then later apologized but the person you apologized to never felt the need to reciprocate the apology for their part in the argument what do you do?
And just for fun...this is how old I was the last time we actually got snow where I live.
32 Validations To Make Me Feel Worthy:
I cleaned up my dashboard a while back and lost a few followers too! It kind of made me sad...but they obviously never commented or posted anything of their own, so it wasn't a big loss!
About the argument/apology...I would probably let it fester up for a while and be mad until I finally just got over it. I am actually doing that right now! I had a disagreement with a friend...and we sort of made up...but I still got blamed for everything! So I am still a little upset about it, but I'll get over it eventually:)
Well, BOO the 'unfollowers' are missing out. I told ya, I did some housecleaning of my own and unfollowed a few people that DO post often. I felt really bad about it, but I wasn't getting around to read them anyway and then it made me feel guilty that I didn't have the time to read their posts, so I just unfollowed.
Oh, and FB has a new app that lets people know who looks at their profile. I probably won't be using FB much anymore... I mean, I just wanted to see what people from HS looked like now and who got fat and who got ugly, etc. What's the fun in them knowing I'm looking?
As for your friend who can't 'man-up' and apologize too, well probably not a very good friend.
Are you getting snow???? I was in 7th grade (in TX) the last time I saw snow and it was such a BIG deal!!! :)
I'm losing followers too {sob}. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me sad. But, what can ya do? I know I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the blogs, so it's quite possible others are too.
As for your un-apologizing friend, that would bother me too. I would probably stew about it, and then ignore the whole thing. You never really know what's going on with someone else. If it's a really close friend, maybe confront her? In a nice way, of course :) If she wasn't all that great of a friend, I'd forget about it. Life is too short.
I unfollowed a few people awhile back, but it was okay because they weren't following me, so I didn't lose any followers. Holy cripes that sentence is insane!
Anyway, with the apology thing...it depends on who the person I argued and then apologized to was. Family? Depending on who, I'd either call them out on it and share my disappointment, or forgive and forget.
When it comes to friends, it depends on how much I value the friendship. My BFF? I'd treat her like family. An acquaintance? I'd probably just move on.
Yep, I'm also having that "I apologized but she didn't" thing going on. I've got no answers; only empathy!
I am sitting here looking at inches of snow. Ugh!
I would just forget that person if they were not reciprocal in the apology department. how rude. Sounds like they don't want it to work anyways. You did your Christian part by apologizing so you can move on and feel good about it.
I just love this picture. It is so cute! That snowman is just the best! I don't know how I feel about the apology thing. I have changed my opinion on that since I have gotten older. I used to have a hard time apologizing at all because I was so sure that most of the time I was always right and everyone else was always wrong. LOL but, my self righteousness was made aware to me as my walk with the Lord deepened and I asked Him to help me and change me into the person He wants me to be. Well, that can't happen without a little humility on my part, so God showed me I was not as perfect as I thought I was when he showed me perfection in Jesus. And, He showed me forgiveness by Him as well. Even before I asked for it. That is overwhelming to me! So, as I get into instances in relationships where we disagree and offense happens. And, I humble myself enough to look inside and see if I might have offended them and God shows me where that might be possible, apologizing to them is truly repentance on my part not just trying to get repentance from them. So, it does not really matter what their response is, because I just want to offer to them the same mercy that God extends to me.
Sorry this is so long, it is just an area that God has been perfecting in me in the last few years so it is fresh in my life. :)
Hope you have a great day.
Christy
I typically just let my gut get in a huge uproar and I whine a lot to my husband. Then I take it personally and pout. But then I remember what the bible says and I 'try' to forgive and forget. And then I stew about it some more.
Send it! I hope you get a good response. It really is ridiculous!
FB is annoying me right now. I used to accept pretty much whoever and then immediately block them so that they could see nothing other than my profile and basic info. I hate that they don't have those controls on there any more. Makes me want to drop a bunch of people!
Sorry about the "unfollows" though. :( They are missing out!
Just remember that you are the bigger person for apologizing. I hate when I apologize and the other person either doesn't or shifts the blame...anyways, you can move on knowing that you did the right thing.
Uh-oh! I haven't posted in a while...don't unfollow me!
God says you have to forgive, not forget. Let go of the hurt, but if it is a toxic friendship, then let it go too. I have had to do that before and it was difficult, but now I am so much happier. I need to do some housecleaning too, but now I'm afriad to.
I would so hate for someone to unfollow me. I have 50 people right now and I am so proud of that. I think it would really hurt my feelings. Glad to see you didn't unfollow me! lol
Glad you didn't unfollow me. :) I am always doing housekeeping on the FB tho. Random, nosey people somehow always become my friend. LOL. That is one cute picture, but I am sad for you that you haven't had a snow. But hey, atleast you got down and dirty in the snow this year! Awesome! Anyways, about the apologies, I would simply ask why they do not feel the need to apologize for their behavior. Good luck with that.
xoxo
Danielle
Yup, I only unfollow people if they haven't updated in awhile. I really need to clean out my dashboard, it's been awhile..
I have no advice on the apology thing (Well, I have some, but at this point in my mental well being, I wouldn't suggest anyone take it!) so I wish you well with that. Don't be a door mat, but don't be a wrecking ball either. (That's vague enough, isn't it? lol)
I have very few followers, only 15 (which I admit was more that I expected) and most of my family, close friends, etc, either don't know how or choose not to follow publicly. That is fine with me too, by the way. Privacy is their right. By following me puts their little face on the page, and some people don't want that. So my followers are people i have "met" on this wonderful world wide web. That is part of why it 'hurts' to lose even one (which I did lately, but I have been a sucky blogger lately too) because i know my family reads it because of either A) Dylan updates or B) obligation, lol, so the new friends hurt to lose. Well, only kind of temporarily. Then I go find them and un follow and get a second of "AHHH" before the "you are a loser" feeling comes back! lol
All in all, it's just a bloggy world out there, and it is no different than the real world. People are two faced, comfortable with some people better than they are others, feel like they have an image to protect, or even feel like they can't be their self BECAUSE of family and friends who read. I almost wish I went completely anonymous, but what would be the point?
Okay, I am done ranting, raving, whining now. And, yes, I have had all of my medication today, in case you are wondering about my state of mind!
I think Michelle Hoad some great advice up there. I basically wanted to write what she commented.
As for commenting/followers/unfollowers, I have so many followers/readers that is hard for me to comment on everyone's blogs, twitter, FB (yah, that whole privacy thing is frustrating), plus take care of my boys, clean my home, run errands, help kids with homework, etc. I probably spend 5 hours a day reading blogs, doing design and coding for mine, marketing on social media sites, not to mention commenting when I have the time. It is really embarrassing, but I just recently found YOUR blog although I know you've been a commenter for a long time. BTW, love your blog - I even added it to my blogroll - so if I dont always come over here think of it as love when people click over, lol. And yes it hurts when people unfollow, and moreover it is very hard to not take it personally, so just wanted to say I feel empathy for you.
There is always something you can apologize for in a fight. When DaddyO and I have an argument we always try to come up with something to apologize for. I currently have a family member that I am waiting for an apology from. It makes me fumin mad that they don't feel it necessary to apologize!!!!! I just got all worked up again!
If you have sincerely apologized for something the Lord has laid on your heart, then you've obeyed. There ought to be no other motive. We can't convict- that's something only the Holy Spirit can do- even if forgiveness is what they probably ought to ask for. So pray for yourself to love that person as God would have you to do. It doesn't mean being a doormat, it could mean setting boundaries- regardless, pray for yourself to be more like the Lord and also for the other person to grow closer to the Lord, too. That's probably an unpopular solution, but God's ways are higher than ours.
Im soooo your follower! HA!
Um I think the deal with saying your sorry is that now your off the hook, the burden doesnt have to be there for you because you have done all you can to rectify the situation, I just never wait around, I found out the hard way it can take too long, and I only have so much free space on my hard drive (my brain) =D I did enjoy your letter to the school, some are great others, not so much, I started homeschooling because Isaiah has learning disabilities that werent being dealt with correctly, but I do really miss having a full time job.
I'll be honest and say the one person I would want the apology from would be my dh, if it didn't come at the same time as mine I would probably nag him to death till he did, then I would stew about the fact that it probably wasn't sincere :) Yeah I am just a little messed up, good thing we rarely argue.
Cheers
I'm so new to blogging on anything other than LiveJournal that I'm still trying to figure out the following thing. I follow you through my Google reader...but haven't done anything with that Google friends connect thingy that you have up in the corner there. And I've been too embarrassed to ask on any of the blogs that I read...what is that? Is it the same as following through my reader?
I need to do the same thing on Facebook -- clean house! When I first set up my account, I pretty much accepted whoever requested me, because I didn't want to hurt feelings by ignoring their request. But I use FB to keep in touch w/ certain family members & friends, and really don't want everyone who's friended me to see it all.
About the non-appologizing friend, I have no good advice, just empathy. I've been there, and it's a rotten, uncomfortable place in.
A couple of people unfollowed me after I posted my pictures and it bugged me a little. I forgot the part where I did a little house cleaning of my own. Oops.
Hi!
Guess what? I did it! I caught up on your blog. You do live an adventure :)
Glad that you had a nice Christmas :) The trip to NM looked like so much fun.
Hoping that you have a wonderful, healthier, less stressful 2010!!!
Oh yeah, here is one for you to appreciate:Someone unfollowed me on CHRISTMAS! -cruel, just cruel ;)
I get a bit sad when I lose a follower too. But, we do have to clean up a bit once in a while, right? I mean, if they haven't posted in 5 months!?!
I think we all get that "what happened!?" feeling when someone unfollows us.
As for the apology, I get pissed if the other person doesn't apologize too. Isn't it just the polite thing to do even if you don't mean it? My dad and I used to argue all the time when I was a teenager. He always apologized for it - and I could tell that he absolutely didn't want to, ever. I knew that it was a stab at his pride for apologizing first so I always apologized too - even though I thought he was wrong. I do the same today with my husband. If I apologize first and he doesn't because he feels justified in whatever I talk his ear off about my apology and how he should really think about apologizing too. He'll apologize just to get me to shut up, lol!
Oh my word, woman!!! I D-I-E a little bit inside every time I lose someone that follows me.
I try to make myself feel better by thinking that maybe they closed their own account....and it was nothing personal.
And then I cry.
You are so not alone.
If I cleaned house, I'd lose both my followers. Can't take the risk.
(BTW, there IS a video of me out there somewhere in cyberspace but I ain't NEVER gonna tell you where!)
:)
I CALL IT WEEDING.
I weed often.
I gain 6 followers per day and lose 2 .. so ... dont' feel bad. Their loss. :) As for arguments. It's always nice to just say sorry.
I'd serve them up a nice load of " see ya later."
I wouldn't have much to do with that person. BUt that's me .. I weed people left and right. I'm ruthless weeder and fly by the seat of my irrational pants.
xoxo
supah
Cute picture! As for the apology thing, I figure if they don't feel they are wrong and I do I just don't have time for that crap. Not to mention I am an Irish-German Scorpio which makes for some mean grudge holding so I have to walk away or it can get very ugly. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the situation or what you decide to do.
You look like you were in middle school. It's hard to continue a relationship with someone who doesn't feel they own an apology. I don't have an answer. I'm still working these out on a case by case basis.
House cleaning. Yeah, I did it.
Apparently, two other people did, too. I lost two followers. It hurt my ego.
Thank you mate for not getting rid of me, as I am a slack arsed poster, but I have redeemed myself with this comment - Yes??
My excuse is that Mum was here, so I couldn't possibly blog while she was here......but you know I love you anyway!!!!
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