It's True Story Tuesday time and Rachel has specifically asked for our Christmas tales. I will do my best to oblige- anything for you Rachel.
OK- so as I was writing this story it kept seeming all to familiar to me. Finally I did some research of my very own blog and realized that another version of this same story has already been told. I guess I'm running out of material- oh the horror! So many of you are new followers so you won't know the difference. For those of you who do remember the original story (which I will NOT be linking too) just pretend you've never heard any of this before. OK? Thanks.
I've spoken of mice before. They aren't pleasant little creatures. I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would want one as a pet or even buy that new toy for their children. You know the one that's all the rage this Christmas. Anyways, that's neither here nor there.
However, if someone is looking to pamper a mouse let me know- we seem to have an abundance of the creatures no matter where we live. But...make sure to give me plenty of notice. Why you ask? Well, let me tell you. You're welcome.
One Christmas long, long ago there lived a family. (That would be us.) And actually it wasn't long, long ago- only about 3 years. But heck- I'm trying to be creative here. What? It's not working? *sigh* OK- I'll just tell the story.
We have a closet in our house that I like to call "the closet under the stairs." Creative, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. Ahem. So in the closet under the stairs I stored my Christmas decorations, and Easter, and Halloween, and.... So I am pulling eleventy hundred boxes filled with
And what to my wondering eyes does appear? Oh wait. I forgot- I'm not going that route in storytelling. Sorry.
I managed to clear out the first 50 boxes and see a hole in my baseboard. You know- just like little Jerry would make in the cartoon- Tom and Jerry. I panic. Nothing is more terrifying to me than a 3 inch mouse that can creep and crawl through the tightest of spaces. I take deep breaths and tell myself, "There is no way this mouse is coming out- I'm making waaaaayyy to much noise."
And I did pretty well convincing myself of this. I was brave I tell ya'. B-R-A-V-E. I emptied out all the other boxes without one sight of the little varmint and I was only left with the big Christmas tree box. I figure I'm safe. There's no way I'm seeing a mouse today!
So I pull, I drag, I yank the 7 foot long box away from the final corner of the closet. And I see it. What? What did you see Julie? (Whatever- I know that is totally what you're thinking.)
I saw a Target bag. What? What's the big deal about a Target bag? Well, be patient and I'll tell ya'. This particular target bag was shredded. Into a pile about 12 inches high and 15 inches wide.
As I take in the whole scene with my mind running a million miles a minute I see movement. I look closer. I tiptoe over to this enormous pile of shredded Target bag and take an even closer look. And then I see it.
Them would be more accurate. I see t.h.e.m. What Julie? What do you see? A family of baby mice my friends. A f.a.m.i.l.y.
Remember back at the beginning of this post when I told you that you needed to give me plenty of notice if you wanted a mouse for a pet from my house? Well the following is why.
As I danced on top of the couch screaming like a wild banshee, Chris was in the closet with a hockey stick bludgeoning those mice to death. He did not stop until a sufficient amount of blood had splattered all four walls of the closet.
So if your intention is to make one of these vial little creatures your friend be sure to let me know before Chris wields his lethal hockey stick.
And just to make sure you remember this is a Christmas tale (I totally could have gone with tail there), we did manage to get all the Christmas decorations up and properly displayed after the massacre that occurred in these four walls I call my home.
Merry Christmas.
26 Validations To Make Me Feel Worthy:
I don't know whether to laugh, gag, or cry! Those poor baby mice!!!! Couldn't you have just... gotten rid of them some other way????
That's so sad!! But I can't say I wouldn't have responded the same way!
I remember that story, but I'll pretend not too.
Oh.my.goodness. Better you than me, better you than me! LOL
aghh! Did you have to tell about the blood? !?!?!?
ick. ack. gag. That was too graphic for me. ha ha.
So, did this really happen?? Or was this someone else's true story? I didn't get the part about the story also being somewhere else on the internet... is it just one of those things that happens to other people too?
You're too funny! I had one of those tom and jerry holes in my first apartment. I probably caught half a dozen mice. I thought it was just one mouse but apparently a family lived in there!
Ewwwwwwwwww! My brothers had mice as pets once. For like a day. They put them on the record player turntable and those critters were rightfully scared; the smell was so horrendous that my mom called the pet store and said they were bringing them back. They told her there were no returns, and whatever she replied was sufficient enough for the store to just meekly take those mice back without complaint. :)
OK, so I'm totally hyperventilating and reading this thing with my feet off the ground. I.HATE.MICE! Couple that with living in the country and it's not a pretty site. I have yet to actually SEE one but I keep finding its evidence. I've put out enough poison to kill a large moose so hopefully I'll be able to stay in my house because if I see one, I'm moving right that very second and buying new stuff when I get where I'm going!
It's cupboard under the stairs you muggle. Yeah, and I was eating lunch...tomato soup and grilled cheese, so I could have done without some of the detail! Excuse me while I go throw up... LOL!
YUCK! I hate mice...something about those beady little eyes just grosses me out! I think Jason probably would have done the same thing Chris did...and I would have standing on the couch screaming just like you!
YIKES! My mom found a family of mice living in our tent trailer one year and he vacuumed them all up and I never want to know what he did with that bag! I have a few mice *shudder* stories of my own. They creep me out!
Sorry...he meaning my Dad...All this mice talk is throwing me off! ;)
Holy moly!!! I never heard that story, and even if I did, It would give me the willies just the same. I would've totally freaked out. probally the same as when I saw a squirrel on my basement stairs. You've never seen a pregnant mama move so fast. :)
Ugh ugh ugh ugh! I think I would have tweaked out, too! My childhood home was built in the 1800's, and sat in the middle of a good amount of land, so we got our fair share of mice (and sometimes squirrels!) that would invade when the weather got cold. I have so many memories of my mom and/or dad chasing around mice with brooms, tupperware bowls, laundry baskets...
Oh my, mice freak me out! It seems like we never could get rid of them in our last house, though- gross, right? I claimed they were some sort of mutant mice that had been living there since the house was built a hundred years ago. They boys thought they would make good pets.
What is it with you women and mice? Ya just scoop 'em up and toss 'em outside where they belong. And if the neighbor's cat happens to be watching, so be it.
Well I feel exactly the same way about spiders...but when you see a shredded bag and you just KNOW that mice are there, it induces just a little vomit in my throat!
That's so funny! I just HATE mice and we have been having continuous problems with them. Creeps me out. Ryan bludgeoned one to death last week - just like your husband!
OH my goodness, that is crazy. Those poor blind mice that never saw that hockey stick coming. OUCH. We had a mouse in my parents house once...they are so darn fast and yucky.
I totally remember this story! We had a mouse (and his friends) try to move in with us once, too. They are so creepy!
That was VERY MERRY! We've caught a few mice in the garage with the sticky traps. There is one out there now that is filled with bugs. I didn't know they served a dual purpose!
Oh. My. God. I would have died! I was gonna stay in a trailer one year at a camp but found a similar pile made of mattress shreddings. No. Thank. You.
Go Hubby for the Masacre! I myself think if the creature gets in OUR house, they are fair game. Heck, we can even shoot PEOPLE in our homes, so mice BETTER watch out! LOL
I have been out of the bloggy loop this week, but hope to catch up on your blog after my dope wears of and I am able to sit in the computer chair! I miss your posts!
First off, don't listen to Brian... he carries dead animals in his pockets, right? ;)
And I am still cracking up (in a sad way) about Pixie's dad vacuuming mice up.
And LISA!?! If someone got SHOT in your house, wouldn't that make a TST?!?! Or is that the painkillers typing?
Totally laughing about the screaming on the couch thing (only because one of our very best friends, a MANLY MAN did the exact same thing over a mouse and I got a hernia from laughing).
But kinda sad about the whole yucky ending... :( But they better not be coming in MY house! :)
Glad you linked up. For a moment, I wondered if you were gonna put some other TST up ;)
Julie... truly? Economy size beans?!?!
And to the rest of the readers, my apologies for the random "must be having a comment conversation"...
But I bet you can figure it out if you browse the True Story Tuesday's this week! :)
Rachel,
I'm sending a little package up to Seattle. It'll be marked "Live Animals." Make sure to feed them as soon as it arrives. They'll be hungry. And as for bedding, use some shredded Target bags :)
Oh no! LOL Gross, but I still feel badly for the little fellas!
My hubby did something similar but to rats, and outside, and not with a hockey stick...I think it was a shovel. Blech!!
Oh. My. Gawd. I'm currently jumping up and down and shrieking as if there's a disgusting, I mean little, mouse family in my own house! Yikes!
Remember when I said if I saw a mouse in my house I would just up and move? Well, guess who STEPPED on a dead mouse tonight while wearing a pair of SOCKS!?!?!?! If I'm being completely honest I was wearing a sports bra and pair of cotton granny panties in addition to the socks. I only walked into the junk room to get a pair of jammies out of the clothes basket and didn't bother to turn on the light when I realized I had stepped on something so I turned on the light and it was then that the dance began. Screaming like you've never heard in your life, crying and arm flailing all while I'm jumping around in my skivies. Maybe I should write a letter of intent to that stupid frackin' mouse who has completely made it impossible to go to sleep tonight.
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