Letters of Intent

It's Friday ladies and gents! And since only Jodi linked up with me last week I expect to see lots of letters this week about a person, place, thing or idea that has sent you over the edge or made you count your blessings. 'Cause I know how all of you live to please me. Ahem. I look forward to your Letters of Intent!

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Dear Makers of Legos,

You are a thorn in my side, make my hackles rise, like a red flag to a bull, cause me to get steamed up, make my blood boil, and make me hot under the collar among other things. You caused me- a grown woman- to have a temper tantrum like a 3 year old child on Christmas day not once, not twice, but three different times. I blame you Makers of Legos for creating such ridiculous contraptions such as these:


Why Makers of Legos do you feel the need to create such complicated designs that little boys think will be the epitome of their childhood play. There is no way young boys (especially young boys with fine motor skill problems) can play with a toy that is built with 100's of tiny little pieces and expect it to stay together. It.just.doesn't.happen.

And lets talk about building these toys for a minute shall we? Do you really think an 8 year old boy can build a toy with directions that look like this?

I know it's hard to see in the picture but tiny little parts attached to tiny little lines pointing to tiny little dots on a multitude of dots is not helpful. Seriously. They get all mixed up and cross paths and it is next to impossible to figure out what goes where. I would rather have an instruction book 50 pages long with one instruction/page then the kind of mess you have so "helpfully" drawn on this page.

So Makers of Legos, I sat on Christmas day and tried to put your contraptions together. I was patient at first. I mean for the first 1 1/2 hours I could have been considered a saint. But when the toy is 99% completed and then crumbles in my hands before I can even hand it over to my children is crap. Plain and simple. C.R.A.P.

I eventually got your toys together oh Makers of Legos.


See, I did alright. But what you don't see is that the only way these lego vehicles stay together is because I used this:

That's right- I had to glue together legos to make them stay. There is something inherently wrong with that. Gluing legos- isn't that a contradiction to the art of lego building? Hmmm?

Whatever happened to having a box of legos and building what your imagination could dream up? You know...something like this:
Oh yeah, that simple box of legos is $24.88 before tax at Walmart! Are you kidding me? $25 bucks for a box of legos? That's highway robbery oh Makers of Legos. What is the matter with you? I hope you're losing sleep at night over the billions of dollars you're raking in by selling a box of temper tantrums to unsuspecting families.

Sincerely,

A woman who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of a toy without a label that says some adult assembly required.