Is the Christmas frenzy about to send you into a padded room? Is Santa causing you to file bankruptcy? Are the Christmas treats going straight to your hips just by looking at them? Are you looking and feeling more like Scrooge than like Tiny Tim? Or...are you so bursting with glee over the tidings of comfort and joy that surround you? Well, tell us about it! Write a letter to a person, place, thing, or idea and let us know exactly how you think and feel. Grab my button from my left sidebar and link up at the bottom. I look forward to spreading Christmas cheer by way of comments on your Letters of Intent!
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Dear Adult Son #1,
I have only spoken a handful of words to you since Thanksgiving when you decided to ruin my day. I watch as you walk in and out of my home like you are God's gift to this world. Is it really that distasteful to you to offer an apology? Really? Two little words and it'd all be over. Yet, you go about your business as though everyone owes you something. Seriously...this will get you no where in life. You have the perfect role model of that behavior living an hour from here. Open your eyes and take a good look at the woman who gave birth to you. That is where your current attitude will get you.
From,
The woman who will not be treated in the manner that happened on Thanksgiving after giving so much for so many years to a son who is not mine biologically, but I tried to take care of as though he was.
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Dear Adult Son #2,
You need to get your act together. Seriously. It is time to start functioning on an adult level and get things done that need to get done. Your father and I will not be here to always pick up the pieces and follow you around making sure you are taking care of yourself. It's time to start paying attention to what is going on around you and stop procrastinating on things that need to be accomplished. Also, dumping your little brother when you've made promises to him only teaches him that he is not important. Do not treat him that way- he does not deserve it.
From,
The woman who is tired of having to repeat herself to an 18 year old man like he is 10 years old.
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Dear 8 Year Old Son,
You are driving me nuts. Quit with the attitude towards your younger brother like you know everything and he knows nothing. It is getting old fast. I do not like you treating him like he is a second class citizen. I know your older brother has been treating you this way, but I'm working on that. So don't even start with me. Got it?
From,
The woman you call Mom.
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Dear Youngest Son,
You're doing better- you really are. You aren't whining or misbehaving as much and I am proud of you. However, your jokes sometimes go to far and enough is enough. I love listening to you giggle as you play these pranks. But after a while the person you are playing the prank on is not finding it funny anymore. Let's quit while we're ahead, OK?
From,
The mom who is tired of being locked out of the car.
28 Validations To Make Me Feel Worthy:
wow! you have a lot to deal with this holiday season. by the way, i answered yes to all the questions in the first paragraph. scary, huh? this year has been a tough one. i am ready for it to be over. start fresh. i hope your four boys come to their senses. you are an amazing woman, wife, and mother. i don't think i could ever raise multiple children, especially all boys. you deserve to be treated with respect. take care.
kick some testosterone ass, lady. sounds like those boys need it!! maybe lumps of coal would teach them a lesson. but would also break some little kid hearts. so maybe no on the coal. wow, i am such a waffler. (mmm.. waffles..)
tired much?
I do not look forward to dealing with my kids when they are young adults. All the attitude that comes with "finding themselves."
I love your cartoon!
I'm scouring and can't find what that boy did but my guess is something self-centered and insensitive.
Validation: You are a good person. You are a good mom, step or otherwise. No matter what he said, remember that he was "in the moment" and not seeing the big picture. It's not important and it's not true.
Just remember, someday he will have children, too. And, there's a pretty good chance he will also have stepchildren. (This would be a good time to rub you hands together and laugh the "evil laugh.")
They are REALLY giving you a run for your money!
Glad you have your letters of intent...cathartic!
I'm waiting for the time that i too will be writing such letters to my son (and future children). I can't wait.
Love the letters!
Good luck girlfriend. Sounds like you have your hands fullll.
xoxo
Danielle
You whip those older two into shape! They are so blessed to have you and someday they will realize it!
And to youngest son...dude, locking your mom out of the is NOT cool!
Yes, I am feeling more like scrooge as of late, thanks for calling me out on it. OMG I got FOUR words for the mother of FOUR sons: YOU ARE A SAINT! I love that you wrote your letters to them this week, boys grow up to be bigger boys I see....One day....when they are 45-ish they will likely grow up and see how amazing you are and how lucky they were to have you in there lives right now putting up with their nonsense. Hang in there!(((HUGS)))
I think all our kids need a good whackin' right now. What is it with them these days. We are a door mat to them. Will they read this post?
Ooh, Nolan, what a little stinker. I'm glad he's not close enough to teach Buddy how to do that.
I hope the older boys snap out of it and get their act together!!
Oh, boys. Praying they all soften their hearts this Christmas season.
And that cartoon is hilarious!
boy do you have your plate full---no wonder you need white & red!!!:)
Ohh Julie, you've had your hands full, huh? You don't deserve to be mistreated, especially by your own family. I hope he realizes soon that he owes you a BIG apology. **The treats are going straight to my hips the old-fashioned way . . . because I'm eating them all. Ugh.
He locked you out of the car?! BAHAHAHA! Sorry, I'm sure you didn't think it was funny (but you gotta admit the little guy has some chutzpah!).
Whew, you have your hands full with those boys! I'd say I hope mine don't behave like entitled little $hits when they're older, but I'm sure that's what I have to look forward to. :(
Hope it gets better for ya. Just keep telling yourself "it's a phase." They'll straighten out. :)
I am sure writing those was very therapeutic. I need to get in on some of this. You know what I am talking about my friend:)
Those are some important letters...I hope they see them! Don't you hate when all you want is for someone to say I'm Sorry and they just won't do it! My oldest always acts like know so much more than his little brother...and they are only 16 months apart in age.
What is it with 8?! Feather turned 8 a few weeks ago and I am not sure she's going to make it to 9! And it's sad because she used to be such a nice girl! Great letters. But I may take my husbands advice and when the girls hit 13 they will be going to live with grandma. ;) I'm a little nervous now!
I thought the whole point of the holiday season was to see how many barbs could be brought to the surface to fester. Sounds like your sons are doing a good job by that criteria. {*grin*}
BTW, all the behaviors you describe seem pretty normal to me after surviving the raising of (and not killing) a son past the teens. I often agreed with my friend who believed that from the age of 14 until 28, all male offspring should be locked in a closet with periodic helpings of raw meat thrown over the door. At 28 they can be let out and may even be good company.
Wanna trade kids?
way to get those boys in shape! I hope they listen.
And it's funny but I was reading an article in Focus on the Family's magazine today about how a sense of entitlement is a problem with young adults today.
Oh Julie! Hang in there girl!
I am having difficulties with my kiddos too. The fighting,the sneeking of food and hiding the evidence, hunting for xmas presents, breaking in to my LOCKED scrapbook room, THE FIGHTING!! I have cancelled Christmas and if they don't start shaping up I am going to have to actually follow through or flush my credibility down the toilet!
*Hugs!*
how comforting it is to know that my kids aren't the only ones. Thank you for that!
Oh girlie - I am dyyyying over here with Dan's advice! LOL
You know that once you write the next Letter of Intent to them, you'll be onto yet another stage for each of them right?
Sorry for the frustrations - one day at a time my friend. And grandkids will be your reward for not killing your children :)
Just whip out a switch and go to town! Well, maybe half way to town? Just make sure the neighbors aren't looking, cause we don't want you to spend Christmas in jail on charges of beating your yard apes. That would suck. I am SURE that all your efforts in the past will not be in vain and that your 2 eldest will open their eyes, perhaps they already have and this is a little rebelious phase of "Why can't my "real" mom be like this?" My friend went through that with her step dad, and now they are closer than ever.
Then again, he is probably just being a half man/half boy, which he will remain to do until he is 40. :)
Must be the season. My kids are driving me bonkers too!
Adult son #1 sounds like my sister. She hasn't said a handful of words to my parents since March of this year. Nice, I know!
Hope things get better and I hope when you're locked out of the car, it's not too cold or at least there's a Starbucks near by!
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