Letters of Intent

Have something you're itchin' to tell someone? Are you irritated beyond belief? In love head over heels? Have a soapbox you need to stand on? Know a business you're ready to put out of business? Well here's your chance!

Write a letter to a person, place, thing, or idea. Tell the who, what, when, where , and why. (Sorry- I've subbed in English classes twice this week.) Make sure to grab my button from my left sidebar and link up below. It's fun and you'll be so glad you did!

Dear Our Nice, Friendly, Better Homes and Gardens Worthy Neighbors,

I am so sorry we are too lazy busy to actually fix our mailbox. I am sorry that every other day we must push it back upright and push the huge stone closer to the post so it will stand up straight. I know it is a really easy fix and it is ridiculous that we have done nothing to fix the problem except to throw a huge stone on the ground in the hopes that it will hold the weight of our mailbox a little bit longer. Despite the mailbox and my grass removal method- we are not white trash. Thankyouverymuch.


Sincerely,

Your very tired, very busy, and very *ahem* lazy neighbors.
_________________________________________________________

Dear Neighborhood Hoodlums,

What was the point in stealing the cover to our water cut-off valve? Are you turning it into a TX-size belt buckle? Are you selling it on the black market? I wasn't aware of any shortage of plastic covers for holes in the ground. Will it somehow become a bong? You have just proven what worthless, sordid, trashy, pieces of crap you really are. Have you nothing better to steal? Antihistamines maybe?

From,

The homeowner who wants nothing more then to go one week without having to replace, repair, or call a service man to fix something on the "American Dream."

________________________________________________________

Dear Owners of the Vacant House Next Door,

I hate varmints. You are causing varmints to enter in my place of residence because of your failure to maintain your domain. This is unacceptable to me. Do you see the landing strip on the right side of your yard? Yeah...I created that work of art. It is my only defense against the critters that have taken up residence in your yard and home. You deserve every single ounce of dog poop I have dropped over the side of the fence into your back yard.

Hatefully,

The homeowners who are desperately trying to take control of the very large, very scary, very ugly animals whom we chose not to name and call pets but instead would blow their brains out with a bazooka if the shrapnel would not cause major damage to our home.